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来源:天星 更新日期:2009-07-22 点击:

Making small talk doesn't have to be painful, even if it's with a boss you want to impress or blind date you want to see alot more of! Believe it or not, making small talk can be fun - even for quiet personality types. Making small talk is also an art that can be learned.

"So…how about this weather?" doesn't often lead to stimulating dialogue (but don't hesitate to use it if you're desperate). If you must make small talk about the weather, be specific. Say, "It'sfreezingcold outside – have you ever heard that saying, 'colder than ________' ? Where did that come from, anyway?" might work better, depending on who you're talking to.

Making small talk can be difficult even if you're an extrovert, but it's especially difficult for introverts. Here's how to enjoy making small talk.

How to Make Small Talk: 10 Tips for Starting Conversations With People You Don't Know

1. Keep up with current events.Make small talk about the news, sports, your community, or politics (unless politics is too controversial. On second thought, that can generate some pretty fiery dialogues!)

2. Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory.Ask where it came from, what the significance is, how much it cost (just kidding). Making small talk is about being observant about people you don't know well.

3. Pay attention to what they're saying.When you're making small talk, follow up on phrases; for instance, if they say they're "excellent", ask why – ask where you can get some. If they mention that they're exhausted, follow up on it. When you're making small talk, remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.

4. Share an anecdote about your day.Did you lose your keys or find $10? Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently, or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.

5. Ask what movies or books they've seen or read recently.Someone once asked me that at a party. Admittedly, at first it felt contrived, but then we had a fantastic conversation about the book I was reading! Making small talk is about trying new conversations.

6. Talk about tv.Share your favourite tv shows - whether it's Oprah's revelation of The Secret or the your favorite sitcom. If you're Canadian, Little Mosque on the Prairie might be interesting to discuss! Making small talk about pop culture is easy and fun.

7. Recall your past conversations with the same person.Ask if their son is still ill or how the Mexican holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.

8. Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation.For instance, "How are you?" isn't as effective as "Whatever happened with '__________' you were dealing with?" ('__________' could be a business deal, family problem, or financial investment) Remember that anything is a potential topic of conversation.You can even talk about how uncomfortable you are making small talk – and ask them how they do it.

9. Relax.Enjoy yourself.People are interesting! If you combine these tips for making small talk with sincere interest, you'll embark on a fascinating conversational ride.

10. Let it go.If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You can't connect with everyone, and some conversations simply refuse to take life! Making small talk involves knowing when it's time to move on.



“...今天天气如何?” 这样的干涩的开场白很难引出有趣的对话 (但是,如果你很急切找到一个对话的切入点,那不妨先将就着用这句话吧)。如果你必须要把谈论天气作为开场,那,就尽量来点特殊的方式,比如说,“ 外面简直冷的刺骨 呀 ——你有听过这么一句话吗,‘比______还冷’?这话到底是谁说的来着....?" 用这种方式,效果肯定会好的多,自然,这也取决于你是在和谁说话。



1.与时俱进,跟上时事:可以聊当下发生的新闻、(流行的)运动、社区或者政治 (政治话题要避免选择很有争议的内容,那样也许会引发太过激烈的辩论)


3.善于倾听:在聊天时,要时刻表现出对对方话题的关注和兴趣。举个例子吧,如果对方说 “他们简直太棒了”,你就接着问“为什么?”或者问“到哪儿才能尝试下这些很棒的东西.....”如果对方说很累,同样的就‘累’这个话题发挥下去。请记住,成功的闲聊和建立好的关系其实很简单,没你想的那么遥不可及。





8.问些开放性的问题:例如,“你好吗?“就是一个闭合性问题,这个问题不可能让对方有机会说更多的内容。但是如果你将问题设置成开放型的就有效的多,如“你和___到底怎么了?”; “你(___可以是工作相关,家庭问题,理财投资等等)处理的怎么样了?记住,任何事情都可以成为潜在的话题。你甚至可以告诉对方你不太擅长与人闲聊,你也可以问问对方是怎么能做的这么好呢?


10.顺其自然:如果你们的对话感觉像是硬要把钢琴推到山顶,那么也许是时候进行新的话题,或者就稍微停一停,暂时什么都别说了。 毕竟你不可能和每个人都聊的那么顺畅和开心。